Rage Against the Latrine
Okay, this post is not going to be for the more delicate amongst you. I will completely absolve you if you skip this one. I’m talking about potty-training, and truth be told, I’d like to skip the whole ordeal too, but it seems to be part and parcel of parenting.
And you know this isn’t the first time I’ve sunk so low: try googling “pretzel potty” and see whose blog is the number one hit. Yes, I make my family so proud!
So, not to be too specific, earlier this week Cubby did something on the potty that he had never done before. Full disclosure, he did something on the floor near the potty, but it was close enough, and we celebrated, cleaned up, and celebrated some more.
Unlike his big sister, who is queen of positive reinforcement and seemed to potty train herself, Cubby is much more reluctant. We were therefore delighted to take this next step. Cubby likes himself some social praise, so I set to telling his teacher, our neighbors, grandparents on Skype etc. If our paths haven’t crossed in the last week, be glad. Be very glad.
So yesterday, he tells me he wants to go again. Yay! I tell him we have to upstairs to get him on the potty, because <you-know-what> goes in the potty.
“No, Mummy, I don’t think that’s right.”
I think my head did that cartoon-swivel thing. ”<You-know-what> goes in the potty, not in your pants,” has been part of our echolaic background brainwashing since before he was born. Pudding has said it approximately 17 times a day for the last three years. She lives by that mantra. He grew up to that soundtrack and adopted it for his own (in word, though not in deed). It was even one of his first sentences!
There were many ways to handle this, and of course I chose the absolute worst- trying to outsmart him.
Me: Oh yeah, so where does it go then?
Cubby: In the diaper……that’s what they’re for, Mummy.
Wow. Yes. Now the big question is, how am I ever going to come up with a strategy for a kid who is already smarter than me? I need help, if I’m ever to get him from can’t to the can.