Me, Me, Me.
The world revolves around Pudding. I’m not just talking about her vestibular issues, (I will get to those one day, Courtney!) but in the way that she likes herself a lot, and everything is about her. She has always enjoyed looking at herself in the mirror, in fact, her teacher bought a mirror for the classroom just for her. She preens, and says: “Who’s adorable? Pudding’s adorable. Yes, I’m adorable.” Should I draw the line when she starts kissing the mirror? The girl has had three years of everybody in her family telling her how adorable she is, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that she says it too. It is a fact, and I’m told that Aspies like facts and sharing them with other people.
In the last couple of months, some of her dolls that previously had their own names have started to be called Pudding (apart from male dolls: they’re Cubby). Princesses are still princesses in books, but any other girl character has become Pudding too. And of course, a dozen times a day I’m asked to draw a Pudding for her. And pronouns being a real problem for her, she constantly refers to herself as Pudding. So it isn’t really “Me, Me, Me”, more like, “Pudding, Pudding, Pudding.”
The word “autism” comes from the Greek “autos”, meaning self. And here is the dictionary.com entry for autism:
–noun1.Psychiatry . a pervasive developmental disorder of children, characterized by impaired communication, excessive rigidity, and emotional detachment.2.a tendency to view life in terms of one’s own needs and desires.
puddingism-noun1. a tendency to view life in term’s of Pudding’s needs and desires.
Pudding is just so adorable, I love her personality she is so wonderful. I hope she carries this self-belief throughout her life. It will help her so much.
I totally enjoyed reading this post. Love and hugs. xx
alienhippy
September 9, 2010 at 8:40 am
Many women (and girls, as they get older) tend to have the opposite problem – weak self-esteem and a tendency to put others’ needs ahead of their own. It could be that Pudding is lucky because she has a head start lest the balance start to tip as it so often does in the teen years. Plus, she does look pretty darn adorable…
Anonymous
September 9, 2010 at 8:41 am
I know, it scares me. I wish I could freeze her self-esteem and determination at this point, so it never wavers and takes her anywhere she wants to go. The teen years terrify me, I don’t know if we can ever prepare enough for them.
spectrummymummy
September 9, 2010 at 8:46 am
I have boys, so I’m not sure I have the same experience, but one thing my husband always says is that he’s not afraid of my son being too meeky or not assertive enough. Since he lacks the social awareness to know when it’s appropriate to talk about himself, he does it all the time. And quite loudly I might add. I think all kids this age have a “world revolves around me” attitude. I too hope she carries it on for when she’s older!
akbutler
September 9, 2010 at 12:24 pm
It is hard to avoid the absolute fact – Pudding IS adorable!! Perky likes his mirrors, too. Just yesterday I noticed Perky now consistently refers to himself in the first person, including writing ‘Me’ above a drawing of our family (including his imaginary sister called Awina. I have no idea where he got that from but it is pretty cute!!) We still have that script sometimes of “I am me, you are you” and “No, I am me”, but the concept seems to have become a concrete one for him. Language is so complicated. Speech Therapy has taught me how children on the spectrum kind of have to learn language from the inside out. I have to say that the second line of the meaning of autism seems very true of Perky, but also true of children of this age, as has already been said. I, too, hope Pudding maintains this wonderful level of self esteem forever, but learns to internalise it just a little as she gets older!
Amy
September 9, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Awina- I love it! Nice little imagination on that kid. Spectrummy Daddy and I have an imaginary dog called Spike. Pudding is learning the rules about pronouns, but they are learned and studied, not at all innate. She’ll say something like: “Pudding wants a cookie. I want a cookie.” She’ll get there. I don’t know if she’ll ever internalise- we can but hope.
spectrummymummy
September 9, 2010 at 8:24 pm
Ooh! I somehow missed this post!
What can I say….Pudding is gorgeous , there’s no doubt about it!
fiona2107
September 15, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Hi there,
I added a post to my blog this morning. I was just going through my comments and I couldn’t help but remember this post. Pudding reminds me so much of myself as a child.
Puddingism…..that is so funny. Mine would have been, Shirleyism…..lmho
I really hope she keeps her confidence and zest for life….she is SO adorable.
Love and hugs. x
alienhippy
September 21, 2010 at 3:42 pm