Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

Holding Pattern

with 11 comments

East End of Main Runway (Near runway 24)

Image by Storm Crypt via Flickr

We’re still in a holding pattern here at Spectrummy House.  In fact, it is going to take longer than we anticipated before things will get finalized.  We had our hopes set on going to one of two hardship (differential) posts, and we were just waiting for the handshake*.  As you can imagine, there aren’t a huge number of posts with the facilities we need for the kids with available positions for Spectrummy Daddy, so we were pretty pleased with the two we’d found.  All either of them had to do was stick their hand out, and we’d have grasped it, as simple as that.

Damn, I said simple, didn’t I?  Remember how I said nothing was simple with us?  So, both of those posts went to other people.  We have to wait and see if we are first choice with the other differential posts on our list.  If we are, we go there.  If not, we can apply for a waiver to go to a non-differential post.  This means a whole lot more paperwork and waiting.  I really hate waiting.  I’m not so patient. I want to find good schools, and therapists, and doctors, and get on it quickly- but that is not meant to be.

Here is the weird thing, we know where we’re likely to go.  We have accepted a handshake from a non-differential post.  We’re excited, it will be a great experience for our family, but we can’t count on it, in case we don’t end up there.  We really want to go there, not only are the schools great, English is the first language, there are plenty of good therapists, we could easily manage the allergies, and there is also decent health care.  There is nothing like kids who can’t tell you something is wrong to make you terrified of tropical diseases.  So, yes, this post would be exactly what we need for the next 3 years.  I’m caught between the excitement and anticipation of our next move, and fear that it won’t happen.  And in that case, where will we end up?

Our holding pattern continues.  The plane is sitting on the runway, and I’m inside, frantically checking my documents, rearranging the overhead cabin**, and tightening and loosening my seat belt.***  I don’t know if we’ll get to our destination.  We have to put our trust in the air traffic controllers to let us take off soon.  I really hope that soon I’ll be able to make an in-flight announcement about the final destination.

If we are forced to deplane, you will hear my screams over the roar of the engines.


*A handshake is the term used when a position is offered to an officer, and s/he accepts it.  Even under usual circumstances, this then has to go to a panel for approval.

**For some reason, although the rest of the house is in complete disarray, I’ve rearranged my cupboards to look like the abusive husband from Sleeping with the Enemy.  I don’t suffer OCD, but give me enough anxiety and look what happens.  It makes me think of Pudding lining up her toys last summer.

***Mostly loosening, there has been a lot of therapeutic chocolate consumption.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

November 9, 2010 at 7:17 am

11 Responses

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  1. oh sweetie,
    sending huge hugs from down under…..what a trying time for you all.
    Crossing all my finger, toes and anything else that can be crossed….


    November 9, 2010 at 7:28 am

  2. I can’t even imagine how stressful this is for you. You are being amazingly brave about it.
    (so for the record, I do the same thing when I’m anxious. The rest of the house looks like a tornado hit, but if the kitchen counter is clean, I feel better. My husband always knows something’s up when there isn’t anything on the counter top.)


    November 9, 2010 at 7:30 am

    • If I were brave, I’d turn channel my inner Arnie and take over the plane using a spork.
      At least I can now find stuff when I’m in the kitchen. Just can’t find the kitchen this morning. 🙂

      Spectrummy Mummy

      November 9, 2010 at 9:16 am

  3. Hang in there. Like Tom Petty said, “The waiting is the hardest part.”



    It’ll all work out exactly as it’s supposed to.


    November 9, 2010 at 7:56 am

    • It is very true. In spite of all the lessons of patience these last 18 months or so, I’m not so good at it. Serenity now.

      Spectrummy Mummy

      November 9, 2010 at 9:17 am

  4. Limbo really sucks! You can’t move forward and it’s really hard to stay sane while waiting and waiting and waiting.

    We have been there 3 times this past year, twice waiting for a very old ill parent to pass, and once waiting for a school for Jacob.

    I can only imagine how much more unsettling to be waiting for a job/location combination. I hope you are cleared for takeoff soon!

    Varda (SquashedMom)

    November 9, 2010 at 9:52 am

    • Thanks Varda. At least this is a change we are welcoming, which I can handle way better than then passing of a loved one. I’ve been lurking on your blog for a while without commenting, you’ve definitely had a tough year of it. Hopefully we’ll all be soaring soon, with a safe landing ahead. And having viciously murdered my metaphor, I’m going to stop right there.

      Spectrummy Mummy

      November 9, 2010 at 10:59 am

  5. I hope you find out soon, I hate waiting–and that’s a big one to wait for!


    November 9, 2010 at 12:39 pm

  6. I hope things work out well for you. The wait can be killer in any case. And with everything you have to line up, notifications need to come out ASAP. Fingers crossed for you!


    November 13, 2010 at 1:20 pm

  7. I am still catching up on my blog reading, so that is why I am so late in posting a comment. I hope you get your answers soon. I can relate strongly to the not being patient, especially about the really big stuff.
    I also relate to your lining up the contents of your cupboards, even when the rest of the house is a scatter zone of every item we seem to own (plus stuff I am sure I have never seen before!) I think I do this as a way to have some control, especially when things are so uncertain.
    Good luck with your waiting. I hope you find out very soon.


    November 15, 2010 at 3:50 am

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