Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

Time Out

with 15 comments

Friday was one of those days. You know, you probably have them yourself.  Every time you start a job, it ends up creating more work.   Nothing gets finished.   If I’m to tell the truth, and there is little point in doing otherwise, my whole week had been like that.  Somehow all the things I didn’t manage to get around to earlier in the week turned up overdue on Friday.

I knew it would be a day of chores, and Cubby would not be pleased about that.  At least Pudding is at school all day on Friday.  To appease Cubby, I decided to take him to the Tot Time at the local community center.   It seems every mother in the vicinity had the same idea, and after 20 minutes of overload, we retreated.

I stopped off for cleaning supplies on the way home, then it was time to give Cubby a snack before nap time.  As he finished eating, Pudding’s teacher called- she’d had diarrhea and needed to be collected.  10 minutes before we arrived at the school, Cubby fell asleep.  He woke up as soon as his rambunctious and very healthy-looking sister got in the car.

Parents already know this, but to those of you who aren’t aware, I should tell you that a nap of less than an hour is worse than no nap at all.  It fills the child with a demonic energy that compels him to create chaos and destroy calm.  When you throw in Pudding, that mix is combustible.

I spent the day putting out fires, and by the end of the afternoon I was burnt out.   Any patience remaining was extinguished.

Spectrummy Daddy came home from work and took over, but my bitter mood lingered.  I was shouting at the kids, and they were feeding off my toxic energy.   As I put Pudding in yet another Time Out during dinner, I had a moment of clarity: I was the problem here!

With a dramatic flare that teenage me would have relished, I stormed upstairs with the declaration that I was on Time Out.

I sat on my bed, and after a few minutes the tension drained away.   I could see the funny side.  I contemplated giving myself one minute for every year of my life, but anything after 10 minutes would have punished my husband as much as the children.  I went back downstairs to finish my food.

I swallowed my humble pie as I offered everybody an apology for my behavior.   Really though, the next day that hits me like that, I’ll do it again.   I don’t know why Pudding hates them so much: Time Out is just what I need.

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Written by Spectrummy Mummy

January 10, 2011 at 6:59 am

15 Responses

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  1. I LOVED this…..and you’re right..I can’t understand why kids don’t love time outs as much as we would!
    Well done mummy !

    fiona2107

    January 10, 2011 at 7:05 am

  2. I love it! I’m going to use it.
    Usually my husband tells me to go walk the dog. that’s his cue for “get the heck out of here you’re making it worse”. but I would much prefer the sit on my bed idea 🙂

    akbutler

    January 10, 2011 at 8:21 am

    • I just wish I’d premeditated it first- then I could have made a cup of tea to take with me!

      Spectrummy Mummy

      January 10, 2011 at 8:34 am

  3. Yep! Mommy time outs are the best, IMO!!! LOL

    Laura

    January 10, 2011 at 8:41 am

  4. From now on, make sure you always have a flask of coffee, a magazine and a bar of chocolate in your bedroom just in case you get timed out again!

    bbsmum

    January 10, 2011 at 11:00 am

  5. I take them too–they’re the best! I like to take them and then get in the tub…husband doesn’t appreciate that as much, but hey!

    Kim

    January 10, 2011 at 11:56 am

  6. Love it! I do it myself when I feel that anger boil over, though here with the 7 YuckMouths I usually have to actually leave the house for a short walk if I want to feel better.

    Lisa

    January 10, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    • A walk is even better- get some exercise endorphins going on! I don’t go out here by myself after dark, but a walk always makes me feel better when I’m stressed. 🙂

      Spectrummy Mummy

      January 10, 2011 at 3:54 pm

  7. I absolutely love this! I know those days well. I mostly wish that I could take the much-needed break before I reach boiling point, so I wouldn’t have to feel so badly about my behavior afterward. But at least the kids and I can relate, knowing that we all have our “moments” 🙂

    I like the idea of having a stash of comfort items in your room ready to go. It’s very frustrating to realize you really want something to help you relax and realize that you would have to run the gauntlet of everything that just set you off in order to get to it. Much better to plan ahead.

    Diane

    January 13, 2011 at 6:41 am

  8. […] Puzzled Filed under: asperger's syndrome — Spectrummy Mummy @ 9:23 am Tags: asd, asperger's syndrome, autism, behavior, parenting, puzzle, sensory, sleep So I mentioned yesterday that Pudding had gone back to sleeping badly. Not just Pudding, but the whole family.  Cubby was also waking several times in the night. One or both of the children would end up in my bed each and every night.  Spectrummy Daddy got kicked out to whichever vacant bed he could find.  I would endure a night of tossing and turning, kicking and having my hair pulled. After several nights of this, it wasn’t just Pudding’s behavior that had gone downhill.   My tolerance levels were at an all time low, which was the very reason I needed that time out. […]

  9. Just saw the link to this post on “My Turn Now -Pity Party”. You should take a minute for each year of your life! I have had to do the same…but every once in a while, our children turn us to demonic monsters. What I want is an apology from them for all the havoc they wreak which takes me to my boiling point. My 12 year old will do that -my 15 year-old never takes responsibility for ANYTHING! I hope you’re still taking your time outs.

    Karen -AspergersMom

    April 15, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    • If the husband is around, I can get away with it. Otherwise, a 2 and 4 year-old left alone for even a quarter of my lifespan in minutes is trouble!

      Spectrummy Mummy

      April 18, 2011 at 7:53 am

  10. […] alert- it was to Johannesburg.  I drank lots of cups of tea, and figured out the purpose of Time Out.  Over at Hopeful Parents I tackled the idea of Mother Wars…I’m definitely no Tiger […]


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