Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

Hello Goodbye

with 9 comments

The great thing about our lifestyle is you get to meet so many people you otherwise wouldn’t.  You make friends with those you would otherwise never have met.  Sometimes you meet people at just the right time, and you know you’ll always be friends.  You have just the right amount of things in common.  Just the right blend of humour and support to make a difficult time pass easier, and good times more enjoyable.

The awful thing about our lifestyle, is that for  every on of these Hellos, these new friends we welcome into our hearts, there is an inevitable Goodbye, looming menacingly in the distance.  Somehow, I don’t know how, we get through it.  The price we pay for every friend or loved one is to have another little piece of our heart beating at a distance.  We tell ourselves it is okay, because one day we’ll visit and find that tiny morsel of ourselves in tact, ready to be close again.  As much as we can logically prepare, goodbyes still hurt.

Last week we said goodbye too prematurely to my friend B, and Pudding’s friend E, who have now returned to England.  I miss them both terribly, though I’ve spoken online to B almost every day.  Pudding doesn’t fully understand.  She asks to go to E’s house, and when I reply that she is gone to England, she responds that she wants to go too.  If only it were that simple.  I take solace in the fact that an introduction to moving away now will help pave our way to preparing Pudding for our move across the globe, just six months from now.

The smiles in those pictures from my Wordless Wednesday post today belie how much we miss them.  I smile at the Hello that brought them into our lives six months ago, and gave Pudding a taste of true friendship.  I put the pictures up this morning and Pudding came over to look, asking again to go and visit E.  Again I told her we’d said goodbye, and she was gone to England.  I want to go to England.  Don’t want to say goodbye, want to say hello, she asserted. So do I, kid.  My pieces there add up to a lot of heart, and it is growing all the time.

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Written by Spectrummy Mummy

January 26, 2011 at 8:35 am

9 Responses

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  1. That’s exactly how Jack and I started dealing with grief, when our great friends and neighbors moved far away to Belize. He didn’t understand it at the time, but kept bringing it up, even a year later, two years later. We told the story over and over again, played through it, imagined we were moving, what a new house would be like. And we also kept in touch with our friends and I told him stories from their lives now. A way for both of us to survive the goodbyes …. ((hugs)) to you both.

    Brenda (mamabegood)

    January 26, 2011 at 8:39 am

  2. thinking of you too. I can’t imagine how hard this is on you too. But I love that she made such a strong connection, and one that could continue on. That’s really huge with kids like ours.

    akbutler

    January 26, 2011 at 10:55 am

    • I hope so. My worst-case-scenario brain is worried that it might stop her from making friends again. Trying to push that thought away though, there are way to many other things battling for attention in the mush between my ears.

      Spectrummy Mummy

      January 26, 2011 at 11:42 am

  3. Goodbyes stink — and they never get easier unfortunately. 😦 I’m sure B and E miss you both just as much.

    Courtney

    January 26, 2011 at 1:33 pm

  4. I think hello’s and goodbye’s make all of us better people. Life is fleeting and we should enjoy those that are important to us ever chance we get. You never know when you have to say goodbye. For me and Grandpa that will be in August. Thank God for Skype. Grandma

    Oma

    January 26, 2011 at 1:51 pm

  5. Goodbyes are the pits.

    Here’s hoping that you make connections that are just as good in SA.
    Xx

    fiona2107

    January 26, 2011 at 5:34 pm

  6. I hate goodbyes too! We didn’t move across the world when I was younger, but we did move across the state. I never lived in one place longer than five years when I was a child. I remember when we I told one of my friends I was moving away, my friend asked if I liked moving. I said, “yes and no,” and explained that I hated to leave old friends, but I like to make new ones. I know it is hard to explain to Pudding, but hopefully one day she’ll be able to give a similar answer.

    Sue

    February 11, 2011 at 1:52 am

  7. I really cannot fathom what you all go through, and at such regular intervals. I had a taste of this when we moved to the UK for 18 months. But like you, I am so glad I had the opportunity to meet and become friends with some amazing and lovely people.
    At least the technology we have now helps us all stay in touch so much more easily than ever before. It does not make up for the physical loss, but it does help.
    It takes a special kind of person to keep living this life and to help guide Pudding through the process with such compassion and patience.
    You are an inspiration.

    dq74

    January 26, 2012 at 11:35 pm


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