Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

Different

with 4 comments

Actor George Clooney - 66th Venice Internation...

Totally gratuitous Clooney Image via Wikipedia

On Tuesday we had the second part of Cubby’s evaluation by Dr. P. This was a 1.5 hour play session, and though he tried to fall asleep in the car on the way there, he perked up, and was on very good form for the duration of the appointment. Cubby was very comfortable, possibly because he’d been to her office previously with his sister, and definitely because we stayed in the room with him. As with Pudding, Dr. P will write a full report for us, but she shared her overall impressions with us on the day.

I’m actually still trying to process my feelings. I think it will take a few days for it to sink in. My friends and family were eager to know the results, so I shared them. I’ll share them with you too now, though please don’t ask me what I think, because I’m still working on that. He is a typically developing toddler, and she has no concerns whatsoever about his development. She said she wished she had filmed the evaluation, as he exemplified social referencing and natural and spontaneous interactions. She told us she frequently forgot his chronological age (just under 22 months) due to his advanced language skills and attempts at humour and charm to get what he wanted (clearly my boy is the next George Clooney).

We talked for some time about our many concerns. His sensory defensiveness, his anxiety with unfamiliar people and environments, and lack of flexibility. All things that had unnerved me because they presented very differently with his sister at that age. She genuinely seemed more social than he did, but of course, the quality of her social interactions was and remains, quite different. I can have small conversations with Cubby, he seeks me out for this purpose. He has anxiety caused by his sensory issues, or sensory issues caused by his anxiety; but when he is comfortable and regulated, he is very social as Dr. P saw. Yes, in this way he is different to his sister.

In so many other ways though, he is just the same. When friends and family wondered what the doctor had observed, this was my response:

Precocious, intelligent, engaging, sensitive, sometimes anxious, cheeky, charming, adorable. Like his sister, only WITHOUT the autism.

He has some differences with the way he senses and perceives the world, but they don’t make the same impact on his ability to communicate and connect that they do with Pudding. We always felt that getting the label for Pudding didn’t change her, it changed us, and the way we related to her. Likewise, not getting the diagnosis for Cubby won’t change things. He continues to need therapy and accommodations to feel comfortable and function at his best. In that way, labels aside, my children really aren’t so different.

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Written by Spectrummy Mummy

January 27, 2011 at 7:25 am

Posted in Sibling

Tagged with , , , ,

4 Responses

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  1. I’m sure it will take a while to process, and I’m sure there will be times when you doubt what she said or doubt how you feel. I think your sentence in the last paragraph is the most important one – he has some differences, but they don’t impact his ability to communicate and connect. With that sentence, you might have just described 90% of the world. And that’s a good thing 🙂
    You know I’m struggling with this too, so I know where you’re coming from.

    akbutler

    January 27, 2011 at 7:30 am

  2. Big hugs! Having been through screening with the occupational therapist for sensory disorder, and modifying approaches and responses, I feel like I am truly such a lucky mom of a great kid who is totally unique and personality gifted. It is a wild ride of emotions, and sometimes self-doubt, but reading by reading your entries, I know that your kids are blessed to have both you and your husband as parents, and that God has given your child unique gifts to complete his calling and to enrich the your lives and those who get to know him!

    Nomads By Nature

    January 27, 2011 at 9:06 am

  3. Your right – it does change us – for the better 🙂

    Casdok

    January 27, 2011 at 4:34 pm

  4. […] syndrome, autism, Autism spectrum, diagnosis, DSM-5, PDD-NOS Funny that I’m following up a post on Thursday on how labels don’t matter with one saying they very much do.  I’m allowed to be […]


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