Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

My New Mantra

with 22 comments

Today is my 200th post, which I think allows me to call myself a prolific blogger, because I like using big words.

As you might gather from the opening, I’m in a much more upbeat mood.  Having got my fears off my chest in yesterday’s post, I proceeded through the appointment with stoic calm.  I tend to handle stressful situations pretty well, I’m not a bad person to have around in a crisis, or even after a crisis.  But there is probably nobody worse to be around before a seismic event.  Leading up to that point, I blow things out of proportion, I worry about the worst case scenario, I am doom and gloom.  So a simple appointment at the hospital causes momentary panic, and then I deal.  It may not be the best strategy for dealing with life’s twists and turns, but there you go.  Having called into question my ability to deal with Pudding’s needs, I was calm, rational and prepared by the time we got there.

Pudding woke up with a cold.  I’m not going to use that as an excuse for the results of her testing because:

  1. We did not accompany her for the testing, and  won’t find out for a few weeks how she performed, she could have done really well for all I know.
  2. There is always something.  If not a cold, then a bad night, or she was out-of-sync, or something would mean she wasn’t on top form.  Top form days are awesome, but they are rare.  Let us use this day as our baseline, however it turns out.
  3. The testing is not carried out to send me into a vortex of despair, much as I may have thought that in the wee hours of the morning.  It is to determine which interventions will be the most useful to her at this stage.  The vortex of despair is just an added bonus, for those who like to see me lose my composure.  I must admit, it is quite funny.
  4. It is the best we can do with what we have.  Really, I should have come to that reason first and stuck there.  I might just end my next 200 posts with that sentence.

As we were not, in any way, questioning the validity of her ASD diagnosis, we got to skip a lot of repeat testing, and just concentrate on her current performance.  Her part was over very quickly.  In fact, the psychologist commented on just how difficult it is to keep up with her, so quickly did she move through the tasks.  Yes, you don’t have to tell me that!

We’ll get all the results when we return in May, but as much as they mattered to me when I couldn’t bring myself to complete the forms, I honestly am not concerned now.  At the beginning of the meeting, the psychologist asked why we were there, and instantly I felt relieved.  Oh yes, the panic was for a reason.  I’d almost forgotten we were there for something!

I asked for their expert advice on preparing Pudding for the move to South Africa.  I told them that we’d found a great preschool program that I’m happy with, but asked what else we need to put in place to best facilitate her development.  We answered many questions about her strengths and weaknesses, and the good and bad parts about the services she is currently receiving.  I’m confident that they now have a pretty good idea about our girl and where she is now, and will help us to help her reach her full potential.

I’m optimistic about the move, and assured that we’ll be able to prepare her as best we can.  We do the best we can with what we have.  Today what we have looks like a whole lot more than yesterday.  We have 102 days to get it right, and every day I’m going to repeat my new mantra.  You can join in too.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

April 22, 2011 at 7:00 am

22 Responses

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  1. Great mantra for ALL parents, regardless of how special our kids are 🙂

    Tricia Ballad

    April 22, 2011 at 7:20 am

  2. Wow! That is a big move. Mine pales in comparison, really. 🙂 Yes, we do what can with what we have. I think that learning to accept that notion is probably the hardest of all of the tasks that a parent of a child with autism has to realize. Like our kiddos, we too are growing, learning, and changing alongside our babes on this journey with autism, and that one notion that you so candidly describe is probably the biggest milestone in our development that we must breach because at its very core is ‘acceptance.’ That one’s a big pill to swallow. Our kids are far more adept at reaching their developmental milestones than we sometimes are. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Aimee Velazquez

    April 22, 2011 at 7:28 am

    • Any move can be big, it all depends on the circumstances.

      I firmly believe that there are lots of little acceptances, and we need to keep reaching them.

      Thank you. 🙂

      Spectrummy Mummy

      April 22, 2011 at 9:02 am

  3. Yay! I sometimes wonder if we use the guilt ot push ourselves forward…hummm. In any case I’m glad you’re getting the baseline maeterial you need for the move. And what you have is me cheering for you on the sideline. 😉


    April 22, 2011 at 7:37 am

  4. I’m in! 🙂


    April 22, 2011 at 8:22 am

  5. You’re doing great!!!


    April 22, 2011 at 8:30 am

  6. My Jay was Puddibgs age when we moved to Brazil. Unfortunately we did not have his Aspergers diagnosis then he was only labeled with Sensory Intigration. But it was enough to allow us to use the Special needs allowance you get as part of the DOS living overseas. That is huge and really helped out, alot of extra packages of paper to fill out but worth it. I honestly believe the 4 years we were in Brazil made a huge difference. Jay blossomed in that environment. And the couple friends we had who were once posted in South Africia loved it. It should be a great opportunity for yourfamily. We want to go back overseas again when we finish our posting here. Have you been in touch with the CLO in SA yet to help line up services? Sorry I was the CLO in Brazil so it is stuck in me! Lol

    • Sorry for the typos above. I am on my iPhone

    • The SNEA is a big factor in why we’re moving. We’ve lined up some services ourselves, but will have a much better idea next month when we get their recommendations for a tailor-made package for her. We can’t wait to get there!

      Spectrummy Mummy

      April 22, 2011 at 11:32 am

  7. love this mantra. I will say it with you for the next 102 days and the next 102 months and…forever 🙂


    April 22, 2011 at 10:19 am

  8. I need to tattoo that mantra to my forehead. You’re awesome. I can’t wait to hear how the big move goes, although I’m sure it will be fine.


    April 22, 2011 at 11:54 am

  9. Love the mantra. So glad you are feeling better about things.


    April 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm

  10. Are you saying you’re a bit of a drama queen? Lol!! You have every reason to be worried, especially with such a big move about to happen! It’s funny how you get to take all of us with you through the internet! I’m with you for the mantra and the move! And, yay for Pudding for doing such a great job!! 🙂


    April 24, 2011 at 3:18 pm

  11. Good luck with the results form Pudding’s assessment. I hope you get the diagnosis you need in order to get the necessary interventions…iykwim, and I know that you do! Especially with such a big (and so exciting!) move!! The very best of luck with that too. With all the work you’re putting in it will be a success:-)

    xx Jazzy


    April 25, 2011 at 6:09 pm

  12. oh, that’s a great mantra. there such a peace in it.

    and what you say is so true — there is always something, be it a cold, no sleep the night before, whatever. i remember rhema went to a neuropsych for testing right after getting out of a 3-day hospital stay. the girl was off the wall. no testing was accomplished, and i was in total despair. now i know, looking back that it worked out just fine b/c we ended up getting the placement we needed based on the neuropsych’s report.

    love the new blog look.

    happy 200 posts and counting! so glad i found you. =)


    April 25, 2011 at 9:46 pm

  13. […] worried leading up to the appointments, but managed to reevaluate my own perspective for the actual testing.  Spectrummy Daddy was going to stay at home with the kids, but at the last minute decided we were […]

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