Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad


with 18 comments

This was going to be a very different kind of post.  Very early yesterday morning I started to write through a very bad mood, and in the process of doing so, had a revelation, and ultimately came to a resolution.  Now, the working through of the problem is worth a post in itself, but that will simply have to wait for another day, dear Reader, as I’m far too excited about the results of my solution.  I know that I’m being cryptic, but just bear with me.  I become far less coherent when I’m giddy, as anyone who has ever had a drink with me will tell you.

So my resolution was that I had to be more positive.  That my negativity was causing havoc on the rest of the house, and creating a vicious cycle of anxiety.  It isn’t that I didn’t have justifiable reasons for feeling negative, and I do have every right to go a day or two without being Ms. Perky Perfect, but as I was the only one capable of breaking the cycle, I needed to do so, or face the fact that things would only continue to spiral downwards.

I resolved to do so with all the gusto of someone who had been awake since 4 am with a two day-long headache, and really needed it to end.  Pudding needed to do calming activities that she liked and were rewarding.  Two of these activities had been incorporated into her reward chart, so it was time to get working on them.  Pudding does a listening program that was prescribed by her first OT.  She listens to modulated classical music through special headphones.  We’ve noticed an improvement with her anxiety when we do it, but she resists the activity, and I hadn’t felt like fighting her.

With the promise of a token, I coerced her into doing her music.  We went downstairs to draw on her easel, and I helped her put on her weighted vest.  Usually we draw together: she likes drawing people, and I get the more difficult requests, like “Easter” or “aquarium.”  This time I drew a cat, and asked her to write it.  She’d only ever written her name freehand before, I was expecting and instant refusal, but she wrote each letter as she sounded it out C-A-T.  Her first written word!  Only last week in her evaluation I’d said that she couldn’t do it, and here she was amazing me.  That was enough of a result to keep me happy, and reward the positive approach, because, you know, Pudding isn’t the only one who needs positive reinforcement!

But then…

She told me she was going to draw me.  Nothing new there, she likes to draw people.  But after she finished she wrote as she sounded out M-U-M!  I knew she was able to spell cat from an app on her iPad, but Mum was something else entirely!  Afraid it was just a fluke, I asked her to do it again.  She both drew and wrote it again.  She didn’t write Dad when I asked, but she did a very good try at her brother’s name.

And then I ran for my camera, because I wanted to keep this memory, and if negativity overwhelms me again, I can click on this page to chase it away again.  It took some working through to get to my solution, but I think you’ll agree that the results are worth it.

I'm the purple one, the pink one is a self-portrait.

The second one is more legible.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

April 28, 2011 at 6:50 am

18 Responses

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    Great job, Mum!!!!

    And don’t be too hard on yourself about the negativity. We all get there from time to time. 🙂



    April 28, 2011 at 7:04 am

    • Oh, I’m really not being too hard on myself. I’m entitled to feel anxious and crabby as much as the next person. But it does come with consequences. Personally I prefer the alternative, though it gets a little hard to see that when you’re mired down.

      Spectrummy Mummy

      April 28, 2011 at 7:14 am

  2. Oh Sweetie, it’s ok to get down occasionally xx
    And wow! Pudding is remarkable isn’t she!
    I must also commend you on teaching her to spell it m-u-m! Lol 🙂

    • Like there is any other way! 😉

      Spectrummy Mummy

      April 28, 2011 at 7:57 am

    • Fi, it’s funny you say that. When Pudding is talking most times, she says a very British “mummy.” When she whines, it gets stretched out, and becomes a very American “MMMOOOOMMMMMYYYY.” Very strange.

      Spectrummy Daddy

      April 28, 2011 at 8:38 am

  3. what a proud moment for you – progress does come, sometimes when we need to see it most!! we are all entitled to our moodiness on occasion, but as long as we recognize the small things that push us forward, we know those feelings are fleeting and are soon to be replaced by our happy selves!!


    April 28, 2011 at 8:04 am

  4. Hooray!


    April 28, 2011 at 9:45 am

  5. That’s the most awesome picture ever!!! I know you will be saving that one forever.

    Don’t worry about being negative, it happens to us all. I look at my blog as a place I can go to vent, to get out all of the confusion and frustration…an outlet. And that’s a good thing, because then you can walk away, back to life, and feel less burdened by it.


    April 28, 2011 at 9:56 am

  6. Well done Pudding…YAY!!
    We all have down moment, just keep swimming as Dory says, in finding Nemo.
    Love and {{{hugs}}}
    Lisa. xx


    April 28, 2011 at 1:26 pm

  7. This is soooo great!

    It IS hard to work up the motivation to get kids to do their therapy. I do iLs with my two oldest kids and though I have seen good results, they always fight me. ANd sometimes I’m just too tired.


    April 28, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    • Exactly. I’m hoping there’ll be a turning point when she starts buying into the idea that it is good for her. Or even (imagine!) not needing it any more, that would be nice too.

      Spectrummy Mummy

      April 29, 2011 at 9:08 am

  8. Lady J, you must be so proud! I know I am! Love U!


    April 28, 2011 at 8:19 pm

  9. […] will take more effort at a time when making an effort is the last thing I feel like doing, but the results are already promising.  And she has slept through the night by herself before, so she will do it […]

  10. This is so awesome! I’ve often experienced moments of peace and progress just after working through a really stressful situation or state of mind. Darkest before the dawn and all that. Very happy for you.


    May 5, 2011 at 10:54 am

  11. I read your other post and remembered those times. It is so hard to be positive when we are sleep deprived. I am so glad you found a way and I am so happy for you and Pudding. How wonderful!


    May 16, 2011 at 3:21 am

  12. […] wonder if Pudding’s recent breakthrough with writing happened because she was listening to modulated music at the […]

  13. […]  We even went to ask The President to Light It Up Blue.  It was full of highs like Pudding beginning to write, and the lows of anxiety.  I had that revelation that my behaviour is communication.  Some of […]

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