Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad


with 24 comments

I got my hair cut in a hair salon on Saturday.  I hadn’t done that in over a year. I’ve been doing it myself at home to save time and money, two rare commodities in our house.  But my in-laws had given me some money for my birthday with the caveat that I had to spend it on me.  So I did.

I told the stylist that I have no time for maintenance, can’t afford expensive products, and need to be able to tie it up when I can no longer stand the kids touching it.  She did exactly as told, chopping away at my mane, but demonstrating that it was still long enough for a pony tail.

She asked if I wanted it to be blow-dried.  I did.  Spectrummy Daddy had the kids at the play area, so I could relish every second of every minute of my down time.  Somebody else pampering me?  Yes, please.

She worked away with her many magical potions and hairdryer and straighteners until she was satisfied with the end result.  It was sleek, shiny and sophisticated.

I loved it.  I looked completely different.  Glamorous, stylish, poised and perfect.  I haven’t looked so good in years.  I looked like Somebody.

I hated it.  Because I knew there was NO way it could last.  I don’t have the time or the energy to keep it looking so good.  I barely have the time to shower, let alone make that kind of effort.  I can’t even have straighteners or curling irons in the house with my kids. As I looked into the mirror, I saw everything I’m not.  My life is not glamorous, stylish, poised or perfect.  At all.

Spectrummy Daddy loved it.  Even the kids liked it, though they always like my hair, so they don’t count.  Still, I got a “pretty mummy” again from Pudding.

I decided I needed photos of me with The Hair before it lost its magic, so we got one while we were at a park that afternoon.  When we went in different directions with the kids, he had to really search for me – I looked so different.

Who is this?

I refused to wash it the next day, and The Hair managed to hold on through Sunday.  It still felt so soft to the touch.  I enjoyed my last day with it, knowing that it would need to go by the next day.  Every time I passed a mirror, I had to peer in.  Not  just because I was vain, but because I wasn’t used to this new me.

Finally, on Monday I washed it.  I’d been reading and reacting to the news all morning, and was late getting Pudding ready for school.  There was no time to do anything with my hair, but leave it.  I threw on some clothes to put Pudding on the bus.

I intended to go straight upstairs to finish the hair, but Cubby asked me to play, so I did.  I’d forgotten about my hair until later as we cuddled before naptime, and  he sneaked his fingers in and twirled a lock.

So now The Hair is just back to being hair.  Not glamourous, stylish, poised or perfect.  Dishevelled and mussed-up from playing, rushing around, and comforting.  Someone who knows there are more important things than perfection.  The hair of somebody very important.


This is who I am.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

May 5, 2011 at 6:45 am

24 Responses

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  1. Yep…and you’re beautiful inside and out. It won’t always be like this believe me, there will come a day when you have more time. You will look back and see just how far you have come, but better still just how much of that inner beauty is reflected in your kids.
    Love and hugs.
    Lisa. xx 🙂


    May 5, 2011 at 7:05 am

  2. Love this! you look beautiful in BOTH shots.

    Glamor is so far from my life now, too. As I prepare for my overnight trip to Boston for Bloggy Boot Camp I realize that I really have little else but “Mommy clothes” that fits me these days, and I could REALLY use a touch-up on my roots-showing hair.

    Oh, well, that’s the Mommy Job, not glam but eminently satisfying.

    Varda (SquashedMom)

    May 5, 2011 at 7:16 am

  3. You look fabulous! In both pics! I think we all deserve a makeover. You know those darned makeover specials that they do so the audience can to the “Ewww” of the Before, and that “Ahhhh” of the After. Someone should work on that: An Autism Mama Makeover. I’m definitely game. I’ve been rocking a patch of grey hair at my temple that isn’t quite large enough to be as cool as the girl on Josie and the Pussycats, but may get me confused for a skunk nonetheless.

    Aimee Velazquez

    May 5, 2011 at 8:20 am

    • Yes, that is something the doctors should prescribe us at the time of diagnosis- free makeovers! I’m in!

      Spectrummy Mummy

      May 5, 2011 at 1:48 pm

  4. You are beautiful inside and out!! It’s not the outside that counts, it’s the inside!! I consider it more of a victory if I feel good let alone look good!! You are somebody!! you are a “mum”!! and that makes you very special!!


    May 5, 2011 at 8:45 am

  5. […] thing so I had to take a look. It was telling me that one of my favorite autism bloggy mommies Spectrummy Mummy had posted a new post. (Click on her name and you will be taking to the post I am now going to refer […]

  6. I think you look Glamorous in the before and the after. You also inspired my post today. Take a look. It will make you laugh. http://www.blog.mamasturnnow.com/2011/05/05/why-i-wore-high-heels-to-clean-my-toliet/

  7. LOVE this post! I think you summed up everything I feel, and everything other autism moms feel too! Thank you for sharing, and you look great – with or without fancy hair =)

    Margie Walker

    May 5, 2011 at 1:28 pm

  8. you are so pretty! and yes you are important with or without perfect hair. my aspie is 7, and i am just now able to look half human!


    May 5, 2011 at 8:13 pm

  9. pretty mummy! you pull off both looks beautifully. i’m so glad you posted pictures and i love how you referred to the glam style as The Hair. =)


    May 5, 2011 at 8:38 pm

  10. Very pretty! I too LOVE when I leave the salon (the 2x a year I go!) I can NEVER get my hair to look as good as they can!


    May 5, 2011 at 10:04 pm

  11. I too, think you look beautiful in both shots, but you know what? I think you are more relaxed and naturally beautiful in the second! It is fun to be pampered! Who could argue with that? 🙂


    May 5, 2011 at 10:35 pm

  12. Love the hair! I know exactly what you mean about keeping the salon-styled hair…it just feels so good! BTW, let me know if you are up for more park dates…my days are getting much more open after tomorrow!


    May 5, 2011 at 10:58 pm

  13. You look stunning in both shots. But those stylisits are like magicians–how do they do that?!? I love them but I curse them as well!


    May 6, 2011 at 10:36 am

  14. You are gorgeous either way, but I think you look a bit more relaxed in the “mussed” picture. That’s what playing and cuddling will do for you. Imagine the wrinkles you’d get from worrying about perfect hair!!


    May 6, 2011 at 11:43 am

    • Aaw, thank you. I should have saved this post for a bad self-esteem day. Everyone is being so lovely!

      Spectrummy Mummy

      May 8, 2011 at 4:52 pm

  15. […] In May I got to meet my friend Alysia from Try Defying Gravity in Boston.  I also met Varda from The Squashed Bologna, and that month on her blog I discussed how my two saplings are growing together.  Pudding racked up another three diagnoses.   Over at About.com I talked about being an Autism Mother.  I found that I was Somebody. […]

  16. […] she is than her hair, a lesson I once learned myself.  Long hair or short, she’ll always be somebody. Like this:FacebookTwitterEmailStumbleUponDiggRedditPrintMoreTumblrLinkedInLike this:LikeBe the […]

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