Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

I’m Sorry

with 19 comments

To Whom It May Concern:

In an effort to conserve time, please read the following, and circle the appropriate apology:

I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your email, send you that thank you card, return your skype call.

Sorry I forgot to pay that bill, reply to that letter, keep that appointment.

I forgot to text you, then call you, missed the play date, and your birthday.

I wish I had joined you for lunch, for dinner, or for drinks.

I wanted so badly to come to your wedding, see your new house, meet your baby.

I meant to come to your shower, your party, for that shopping trip.

Sorry I was late, or rushing, and couldn’t stay.

I never found time to volunteer for your classroom, or attend the PTA meeting, or the fundraiser.

I said that I would bake cookies, or bring a potluck, or a bottle of wine, and then didn’t.

Sorry that when I do turn up, my mind is always elsewhere.

We should have played more, or did nothing, instead of therapy.ย  I’m sorry: your sister needed me / your brother needed me.

I know you hate all the time in waiting rooms, and car journeys without end.

I should have picked up your dry-cleaning, cooked your favorite meal, made more time for you.

Just like I never had a pedicure, a facial, or just time alone for me.

My excuse is I’ve been busy parenting/ moving/ freaking out/ blogging/ driving/ trying not let somebody else down.ย  So sorry to each and every one of you.ย  And if you accept this apology, can it be good for the next decade or so?

Love and Kisses,

Spectrummy Mummy.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

June 20, 2011 at 7:30 am

19 Responses

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  1. Go easy on yourself, those who love you will always be there for you.
    They will know your life and will think about your needs.
    Those who don’t accept your loving apology, well…they are just going to stress you more.
    Look after you and yours and keep sharing, you help so many people by just being you.
    Love and hugs. xx ๐Ÿ™‚


    June 20, 2011 at 7:37 am

    • Thanks my friend. I’m just overdue an apology (or a hundred). I’m lucky that everybody does tend to go easy on me.

      Spectrummy Mummy

      June 20, 2011 at 8:39 am

  2. Boy can I relate to THIS. Can I borrow your list? Post it on my personal facebook page. Because I suck at pretty much everything these days. Except being overwhelmed. I’m really good at that. Guess practice makes perfect! {hugs!}

    Varda (SquashedMom)

    June 20, 2011 at 7:43 am

    • Of course. I think a lot of us have that overwhelmed feeling, and the end of the school year doesn’t help at all. I was thinking of you yesterday, but haven’t had a chance to get over to your blog yet. Another sorry. ((hugs)) back to you.

      Spectrummy Mummy

      June 20, 2011 at 8:41 am

  3. Sounds familiar too (can I add one? Sorry I forgot to tell you we weren’t coming to your kid’s birthday party, because my kid can’t do birthday parties at the zoo/pool/playground). You have a hundred million things going on. Take a breath. The people who love you will still be here whether you do these things or not.
    Now I’m off to pay some bills that are long overdue.


    June 20, 2011 at 7:51 am

    • You can of course. Ours would be sorry we *did* come to your party….and turned it into a whole other thing to accommodate us. But I’m not going to start apologizing for things I have done as well as those I haven’t, or I’d really get nothing done. And then I’d have to say sorry for that!

      Spectrummy Mummy

      June 20, 2011 at 8:44 am

  4. I think I need to print this up on business cards to hand out! Great list ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I’m sure NONE of your apologies are necessary to any of your true friends or anyone who KNOWS your life. It’s nice that you’ve taken the time though to put it down on paper!! I’ve said it before, sometimes there is no time, no excuse, no reasoning, it just IS. Give yourself a break and don’t beat yourself up, you’re a mom – these things happen!


    June 20, 2011 at 9:22 am

  6. Oh sweetie…you just made this squeezy-vise thing around my chest release a couple of degrees. Especially after the post I read last night about rude moms who don’t RSVP for kid parties, and while I have this pile of thank you notes that have been sitting here for a week unwritten…

    Hang in there. We’ll all make it through.


    June 20, 2011 at 9:23 am

    • Thank you cards are the worst. I’m seriously behind in those, no hope of catching up. I’m sure anyone thoughtful enough to buy the kids a gift will recognize that. Sorry for the squeezy-vise :(. This is extreme parenting, normal rules do not apply.

      Spectrummy Mummy

      June 20, 2011 at 12:19 pm

  7. Boy does that say it all! Seriously. I’m often sorry. I’m sorry because my friends make such efforts and constantly extend invitations…which I constantly turn down. Oh, how I wish the life I had envisioned for myself was the one that I was living. It’s silly to think such things though. Life is a wonderful, beautiful, and at times (okay…often) rocky journey toward unconditional love and limitless potential. Unfortunately reaching that sacred space often means, “I’m sorry…” And though I know that my TRUE friends understand, I am certain that none of them knows my life. Not really. I think that makes it that much harder because it is so very hard to explain how the tides ebb and flow in this life with autism. Sometimes the ocean is so serene, the waves peacefully, predictably crash upon the shore. Sometimes a pending storm causes those same waves to swell to forcibly, angrily. Sometimes the riptides come. But at the end of the day, be she violent and unpredictable or calm and tranquil, the sea beckons us with her unending, fierce beauty. And we love her…just as she is.

    Aimee Velazquez

    June 20, 2011 at 10:56 am

    • I’ve been surprised at the number of friends who have wanted to know more about our life. I found it hard to talk about at first, but the fact that there are people who care enough to want to learn is incredible. Keep talking, they’ll listen.

      Spectrummy Mummy

      June 20, 2011 at 12:21 pm

  8. Great list. Great post!! Sorry things are overwhelming right now, I know how it can seem that things will never be right, but they will be.

    Hang in there!


    June 20, 2011 at 2:46 pm

  9. I need to post a very similar list of apologies on my blog. It seems like I’m always screwing something up!


    June 20, 2011 at 5:43 pm

  10. New to your blog & found you via Twitter…just want to say wow. I could have written this but you said it so perfectly, and so did pp Varda–I feel like I am just overwhelmed by life, too…that I do so many darn things (work, kids, advocate for asd ds, active in community, kiddos to sports–late, usually…) and feel like I do none of them well. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    But I think it bugs ME more than it seems to bug most everyone else. I think we parents are a little hard on ourselves. Easy to identify that, but harder to do something about it, no?

    I wish you, the pp’s & all of us a moment to catch our breaths! Peace!


    June 21, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    • Bienvenue Michele! We’re definitely too hard on ourselves, but at least we’re in good company!

      Spectrummy Mummy

      June 21, 2011 at 7:44 pm

  11. […] I was having Flashbacks, which means it must be getting close to moving time. ย I said I’m sorry- I’m thinking of having this made into a form so I can quickly email it out in future. ย I […]

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