Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

In The Quiet (by Spectrummy Daddy)

with 8 comments

Spectrummy Daddy wrote this post for his personal blog, and I thought it belonged over here too…


Since the people reading this are probably friends of mine, I don’t have to tell you the my lovely daughter has Autism.  We’ve been very open about it, and luckily for us she is high functioning.  However, my daughter also has issues when it comes to loud noises.  On Saturday at a birthday party the magician popped balloons and she freaked out.  If there is a huge commotion she will become paralyzed with fear.  It’s one of the most heart-breaking things you’ll ever see.  This very tall 4 year old just crumbles into a pile and screams.  Because she also has Sensory Processing issues, she covers her eyes as well to try and make the noise stop.  It’s almost like she’s seeing sounds.

On a similar note, as most of you know, I listen to a lot of music.  Usually it’s pumping pretty loudly and it switches my brain off which allows me to stay calm as I suffer ocassionally from anxiety.  Different reactions to the same loud noise.  My lovely daughter does love music too, but usually when it’s not too loud and when she can sing very loudly, if not always on key.

The reason I’ve told you all this is because I’ve noticed something that maybe my daughter has correct.  Last night when I was sitting in my children’s room waiting for them to go to sleep, I had my music on.  It was tuned low so it wouldn’t disturb them, and I started to notice something.  Songs I had heard numerous times before sounded different.  There were added parts that made the sound richer and more full.  “Take Five” by Dave Brubek, only one of the greatest jazz songs ever recorded, sounded even better than usual as I could hear all the parts clearly and see how they all fit together.  “Panic Switch” by Silversun Pickups has a stick part from the drummer in the break I had never really heard fully before.  It’s pretty intricate.

It was amazing, and it made me think that maybe too loud is an issue for me too.  Maybe it’s an issue with everyone.  Maybe we have everything so loud we can’t listen to nuance.  Perhaps the problem with society is that we all have sensory issues, but we can chose to ignore them and we do.  Sadly my daughter can’t, so we’ll have to figure out how to turn the sound down on the world for her.  Maybe we all can do that, and listen to the intricate parts of life, and see how we all fit together.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

September 12, 2011 at 12:31 pm

8 Responses

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  1. First of all, Dave Brubek is MY husband’s favorite. He plays it often during dinner and we pretend we’re at Panera Bread 🙂
    Secondly, I think you’re on to something. When we have the music up – our movements are up (dancing, banging, crashing, etc.) But it’s when the music is low (and our house is quieter) that we can really see the pieces that fit. And it’s that time when our house is most in tune. Great post.

    (and I would be remiss if I didn’t ask you to think about sending this in to the SPD Blogger Network…:-) )


    September 12, 2011 at 12:39 pm

  2. Wow, how lucky Pudding and Cubby are to have not one, but two, great parents who REALLY, REALLY get it!! I think you’re on to something… nuances are so easy to miss if we aren’t really able to hear them… sometimes speaking softly carries such an impact, so I would suspect that turning down all the “noise” out there would be a great thing to do for all of us!! Great Post!!


    September 12, 2011 at 12:47 pm

  3. Loud sounds used to scare my son around that age too. Especially loud toilets in public restrooms. If the stall door had been open he would have charged out half the time we used public toilets. That not being the option he would run into the furthest corner of the stall and try to cover his ears and eyes at the same time. He’s finally now at age 10 really stopped reacting to loud sounds that way. He still does not enjoy them but he seems to have that under control My son has Aspergers.


    September 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm

  4. What a nice Dad! He totally gets it and blogs as well! 🙂


    September 12, 2011 at 1:13 pm

  5. This makes a lot of sense, Spectrummy Daddy. When I play my faster stuff loudly, my 4 year old son goes bonkers. Completely bonkers. Jumping, skipping, takes 2 hours to calm down, etc. I also notice the intricacies of the music at a quieter volume. What’s your website? Check mine below if you want


    September 12, 2011 at 8:25 pm

  6. What a beautiful post. I have a son who is now 17 and has aspergers. He has made huge strides over the last 7 years since his diagnosis but we still struggle with each other, figuring out our differences and commonalities. Now we have a new challenge of moving from NY, USA to Shanghai, China! Every day is a challenge for us both and your post reminded me to just take my time and enjoy the small things. Thank you.


    September 12, 2011 at 11:29 pm

  7. I loved this Spectrummy Daddy!

    I am completely deaf in one ear and ever since then – I have had more of an understanding of my son’s sensory overload issues with sound because I too don’t cope when it’s too loud. All the sounds just run together and it’s overwhelming!
    It really does make a huge difference to turn it down a notch 🙂

    Fi (Wonderfully Wired Mum)

    September 14, 2011 at 4:07 am

  8. Thank you everyone for you kind words. It truly makes me understand that maybe I am on the right track with Pudding. (I’m also sure that you as parents are making the right decisions too.)

    Spectrummy Daddy

    September 15, 2011 at 10:12 am

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