Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

I is for Infatuation

with 8 comments

This morning it started at 4.07 am.  Pudding was awake, and, as usual, had been in our bed for most of the night.  Already buzzing with excitement, she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“What’s the boy’s name?”

It isn’t yet 6 in the morning here, and already she has asked me 54 times what his name is.  This has been going on for weeks.  Pudding has a crush, an infatuation, a special interest in a boy at school, and boy do we know about him.  This boy is twice her age, and also on the autism spectrum.  He attends her school, but is not in the same class.  His name is Jimmy*, and Pudding knows this well, but it doesn’t stop her asking.

“Mummy!  What’s the boy’s name?”

I am tired.  And cranky.  I don’t feel like playing this game, but the rules are that she won’t stop until I answer appropriately.  I tell her his name, and that leaves her satisfied, for now.  It doesn’t last long.

Pudding gets a little obsessive-compulsive with regards to her infatuation.  I was initially hopeful that he might be oblivious to Pudding’s interest, but no such luck.  He knows.  Fortunately Pudding knows no embarrassment.  Or does she?

When she sees Jimmy, she covers her hands with her eyes.  In fact, just at the mention of his name, she covers her face.  Even though she was the one to raise the subject by asking his name.  Again, I don’t make the rules.

Jimmy is a nice enough kid, and he is very verbal.  I’ve spoken to him a few times, and I’ve had worse crushes, I can tell you.  I initially had some hope that she would be interested enough in him to facilitate a conversation, but no such luck.  When he tries to speak to her, she goes back to covering her eyes and repeating no.

All she really wants to do is ask his name.  I’ve tried (oh, I’ve tried!) to expand the conversation to other things about Jimmy, but this isn’t what she wants.  I’ve tried to joke around with hey by changing up the boy’s name, and she REALLY doesn’t want to do that!  Of course, Cubby thinks the boy’s name should be Cubby.  Pudding passionately, sometimes violently disagrees with this.  She doesn’t have the self-control to limit the time asking her question yet.  Our only hope is to submit, or to steer her interest to something else, and hope that she’ll grow out of it.  Like any crush.

This infatuation does have some uses though.  Pudding’s OT tells me that when he is in the gross motor room, she suddenly begins to perform to her audience.  With a developmental coordination disorder, and motor-planning challenges, gross motor is Pudding’s idea of hell.  If she struggles to do something, she has no interest in trying.  So it is nice to have an interest there to encourage her.

The teachers think Jimmy quite likes the attention, and what Aspie pre-teen couldn’t use an ego boost?  For right now, there is no harm, I just hope we can encourage her to actually speak to boys she likes.  Of course, when she is forty, and her Daddy has come to terms with his little girl having romantic feelings.

Jimmy does have another use too.  One day at school another boy tried to take Pudding’s strawberries from her lunch box.  He swooped in and rescued our damsel in distress.  Of course, Pudding isn’t the kind of girl who needs saving, but who doesn’t like somebody else to do their bidding?

Speaking of doing her bidding, she just asked me a question.

Jimmy, honey.  The boy’s name is Jimmy.**

*No, it isn’t.

**It still isn’t, but if I don’t use my own kids’ real names I shouldn’t use another child’s, right?

This is the letter I in my series of posts from A-Z.  You can find the others >here<.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

December 1, 2011 at 6:23 am

8 Responses

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  1. That is really sweet! Romance is hard enough for people who understand people – I can only imagine what Pudding must be going through! Good luck to you getting through the name questions (Little Miss does a variation on that too — so I know how annoying it can get!) And good luck to daddy on making it through his baby girl’s first crush!

    Karla (Mom2LittleMiss)

    December 1, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    • She has had a crush before on a classmate back in the US, but she is much more vocal about this one!

      Spectrummy Mummy

      December 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm

  2. I feel as if I’ve inspired this pseudonym. And it’s very flattering. But I’m a married man.

    Awesome post. Very cute. It gives me the giggles that I *DON’T* feel when it’s my OWN daughter with the crush.


    December 1, 2011 at 6:19 pm

  3. Oh my goodness! What a great post! But I must say, if I was you, I think I’d be going a bit nutty (I go nutty on having to repeat colors). And I’m sorry, but I have to say this is just so stinkin’ cute on both their parts that I can’t help but smile! Strawberry rescuing is so gallant!

    (By the way – you make me grateful that my son’s only current crush is on a sponge and a sea star…) 😉


    December 2, 2011 at 6:15 am

    • The good thing is that you can’t go nutty if you’ve already gone nutty. I’m ready for a change of interest- I’d even take those sea creatures for a little while. 🙂

      Spectrummy Mummy

      December 3, 2011 at 2:16 pm

  4. So cute! I think she’ll build her courage in time, probably too quickly for you and her daddy!


    December 4, 2011 at 6:18 pm

  5. […] she showed me the Valentine’s Card that I may not touch, we were at her school, and her crush walked by.  I mentioned that she could have made a card for him.  Before Pudding even responded, […]

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