It happened on this night. After I was done crying, and Spectrummy Daddy had talked about ways we could make things easier on me, I went upstairs to bed. Sitting on my bed was a small jewelry box, the kind that usually contains rings or earrings.
My first thought was that he’d had my wedding and engagement rings fixed after I’d had them cut off. Which was odd, because my ring finger still bore a groove where the rings had become stuck. It will actually take a few more weeks until they’re fully back to normal, though they aren’t as swollen as they were back then.
That meant it had to be a gift. Very frequently, I’m aware that I don’t feel what I’m supposed to. Perhaps something else I have in common with my girl. I didn’t feel happy or grateful. I was actually a little annoyed that he would think I could be bought from my sombre mood by a trinket. I was also thinking of the many things we need over and above jewelry for me. I thought about telling him to return it, we just couldn’t afford it.
For a while it sat there, unopened. Then I let out a few more breaths, and decided not to turn a nice gesture into something that would hurt us both. I opened the box. Inside was a beautiful blue-violet tanzanite ring. Now I knew we couldn’t afford it. I tried it on the ring finger of my right hand, and it fit perfectly, like it was meant to be there. Now there was no question of returning it- I didn’t even want to take it back off!
Spectrummy Daddy came upstairs and filled me in on the story. While I’d been inside the jewelry shop having my rings cut off, he’d been trying to keep the children occupied outside. Pudding had picked out this one, and Cubby concurred. I have to say- those kids have got great taste!
It was supposed to be for my birthday and Mother’s Day, but Spectrummy Daddy told me he felt that I needed to see right then how much I meant to all of them. I haven’t stopped wearing it since, though I remove it a few times a day for some of the grubbier tasks that come my way.
Rings, while expensive, can be replaced, or fixed, or new ones can be bought. I’m the thing our family can’t afford to be without. I’m just as precious to my family as they are to me, and right now I need to treat myself as something fragile and valuable. Now I have something blue to remind me of that always.