Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad


with 11 comments

I could hear the catch in my throat as I told the woman she was wrong.  That rejecting Pudding’s application for admission was a mistake, for them as much as for us.  It really was us and them, no matter how she tried to tell us this was in our best interests- not giving Pudding a chance is wrong.

Pudding had gone through a battery of tests for this school.  The first day of the tests as soon as she woke up, I knew she was ill.  I also knew we wouldn’t get a second chance.  I would just have to hope she would shine through.  But when Pudding is ill, everything is too much, and a strange place with unfamiliar people and questions she didn’t feel like answering were beyond her comfort.  The following week she was feeling better, and performed as required, but the decision had already been made against her.

And instead of just denying entry, we had to sit, again, and listen to Pudding’s autistic traits used against her as reasons why she shouldn’t be included.  Once again, this is a remedial school.  A place that is supposed to welcome and support students who need a little extra help.  But the doors are closed to us.

I tried to distract myself from feeling hurt over the weekend.  Hurt isn’t a good emotion for me.  I mope and feel sorry for myself without doing anything.  Doing nothing does…well, nothing for Pudding.  

I’m hosting the book club in our little community this month.  One book particularly appealed to me, Wonder by R. J. Palacio.  I found a short video taster for the book which ended with the line:

“You can’t exactly blend in when you were born to stand apart.”

I quickly downloaded the book, and laughed, cried and cheered on the protagonist through his journey.  It is a work of fiction, of course, but at its heart is a message that held me up this weekend.

It doesn’t matter how nice the campus, how well-equipped the school, the size of the classrooms, or how expensive the admissions process- the only thing that matters is that we find a place that embraces Pudding’s differences.  Not accepts…not tolerates…but truly acknowledges the wonder of our child.  Because then, and only then will she show them how right they are about her.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

May 7, 2012 at 8:07 pm

11 Responses

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  1. I’m so sorry for the sting of “rejection.” But you are right, Pudding deserves (you ALL do) a place where they will see and embrace her differences and help her find the ways to build on her strengths.


    May 7, 2012 at 8:13 pm

  2. I’m sorry to hear that she didn’t get into the school…but if they were looking at her deficits, and not her strengths…well, it’s best that she doesn’t go there. I hope the right school comes along soon!


    May 7, 2012 at 8:46 pm

  3. I’m so sorry. Those moments are so hard. 😦 Hopefully there will be a place that will help her thrive and love her for the awesome little girl she is. I may have to check out that book… Hang in there!


    May 7, 2012 at 9:08 pm

  4. Sad news 😦
    I try to think “as one door closes, another door opens”…..
    May your next door open…. quick quick! 🙂


    May 7, 2012 at 9:45 pm

  5. Hugs, it can be so hard to find the right place.
    I really wish you the best of luck

    Sarah @fignutmum

    May 7, 2012 at 10:13 pm

  6. This is sad news, but I agree with you: it’s as sad (or more) for that school as it is for Pudding. They are really missing out, and I feel bad for them because of that. I so, so hope you find a placement that is just perfect for all of you!


    May 7, 2012 at 11:32 pm

  7. We should get T-shirts made with that quote – “You can’t exactly blend in when you were born to stand apart.” but I would change “apart” to “OUT” – yes! As in shine and succeed and leave the others behind! Pudding has tremendous, blow me away, intelligence. Especially, her Houdini breaking-and-entering skills! She deserves so much better than I’ve heard you finding where you are at. Don’t despair. You are not alone. Once T’s school year comes to an end, i have to decide on his placement for next year because his current school does not go past kindergarten (sadly- they are a wonderful bunch). The unknown still leaves possibility and I think that’s far better than a bad placement. Eventually, our kids will get there… we just have to keep looking.


    May 7, 2012 at 11:33 pm

  8. Random Guy didn’t get into the school we wanted, then got into the neighborhood school, they failed us, and now he is on his second (and hopefully last) elementary school. You will find the right place for Pudding. Keep at it, your work will pay off.

    Lori Gustafson

    May 8, 2012 at 4:14 am

  9. So sorry to hear that she didn’t get in. I hope you find a place where she will be very happy.

    Life's travails

    May 8, 2012 at 5:18 pm

  10. Sorry that to hear that she didn’t get in. I hope you find a wonderful school for her.

    Life's travails

    May 8, 2012 at 5:20 pm

  11. […] what I didn’t tell you about the times Pudding got rejected here and here, is that they were supposed to be our Plan B.  Our safety schools.  Our […]

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