Bye, bye, balloon
We’d gone to the mall to get balloons for Pudding’s party. Spectrummy Daddy had another chore to do, so we divided the kids with the aim of meeting back at the balloon shop. That was Spectrummy Daddy’s first mistake, because with no voice of reason, I happily purchased 28 helium balloons. You read that right- 28 helium balloons. And just one car, with four passengers. I never was good at maths.
But before he got back with the sensible question of how we were going to get them home (I voted for Up style to float our car home), Pudding had
spied a big Hello Kitty balloon, which just so happened to be wearing the same outfit as the Hello Kitty on her outfit. With nobody to tell me otherwise, I knew it was meant to be. I tied it to her Hello Kitty bag so it wouldn’t get lost on the way back to the car.
Spectrummy Daddy and Cubby returned after it was too late to do anything about the number of balloons. There were so many that I got bored waiting for them to be filled, so I offered to take the kids back to the car while he waited for them.
Which also meant that he was the one who got to look like a clown as he walked through the mall.
We got to the car, I unlocked it and opened the trunk (boot). Pudding deliberated putting her Hello Kitty in the front, and then I suppose decided that keeping it in the trunk/boot was a safer option, so she carefully laid it down in the trunk.
As I went to help, the car key in my hand stabbed Hello Kitty in the back of the head. There was a loud pop, then we watched Hello Kitty fold into herself. Laid out like that, it looked like a corpse in the car, taken out hitman style. I imagine.
But Pudding didn’t go into hysterics- just calmly told me that we had to fix it. She’ll make an awesome gangland boss one day.
If Spectrummy Daddy disliked carrying the balloons through the mall, he even less enjoyed trying to stuff 28 helium balloons into our sedan. We all squashed in, and there was barely room to breathe, which was just as well because you know our voices would have come out like Mickey Mouse. At least if we’d had an accident, there’d have been extra air bags.
Cubby, ever the master of understatement, pointed out that we had a balloon car now.
Later that day, I’d done my best to salvage the balloon with tape. Cubby was sleeping, so I offered to stay at home while Spectrummy Daddy went to try a refill of helium. Of course, it didn’t work. I’d done far too good a job on my hit.
Spectrummy Daddy knew he couldn’t return home without it, so he tried to buy another. But that was the last one of that kind. They only had, of course, an EVEN BIGGER ONE. So big, it has to have special weights put into the feet!
There was nothing he could do but buy it. This massive Hello Kitty, bigger even than Pudding, who was the World’s Tallest 5 Year-Old, and hasn’t shrunk since turning six.
He had to walk all the way through the mall looking like Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, and feeling dodgy thanks to the trail of little girls who were suddenly trailing him. It was, I’m told, worse than 28 balloons.
But he got home, and it was worth it. This balloon is so big it ‘walks’ of its own accord. We have to keep it in the safe haven so it can’t set off our alarm.
But big is beautiful- just ask the newest Tallest Six Year-Old On The Planet!