Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

Posts Tagged ‘Daddy

Wordless Wednesday 13 Jun 2012

with 5 comments

Happy Wordless Wednesday, and an early Happy Father’s Day to Spectrummy Daddy, who has had to put up with a whole lot of head rubbing from Pudding since he decided to shave off his hair on a whim.

Image

Image

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

June 13, 2012 at 10:05 am

Wordless Wednesday 15 Feb 12

with 6 comments

My boys.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

February 15, 2012 at 8:03 pm

D is for Daddy

with 6 comments

On Friday I collected Cubby from preschool, and we went straight to the consulate to have lunch with Daddy.  Cubby loves going there, and without Pudding around, he was the centre of attention for once.  So I wasn’t surprised that he started crying when it came time for us to leave, but I was surprised that he was still yelling “I want Daddy” through his tears some 40 minutes later.  This is new.  It has always been about me around these parts, and Spectrummy Daddy has always had to play the understudy.  Always.

When Pudding was born, the midwives commented on the same things: her size, the volume of her cry, her insatiable appetite, and her unwavering devotion to her mama.  Far from being disengaged, Pudding would stare at me, and I would stare right back.  If she was awake, she wanted nobody else to touch her.  It was all me, all the time.  The doctor told me she would grow out of it. Well, the doctors back then were wrong about a few things.

As she grew older, it was still me.  I could right her wrongs, and if she was going to share her joys with anyone, it was me.  We thought that sooner or later she’d switch her affections to her father, but it just never happened.  Even when Cubby was born, she wanted only me.  The problem was, so did Cubby.  So we’ve had a couple of years of children whose sensory issues manifest in different ways, and the only one who could fix things was me.

I know how it hurts my husband to be rejected by the children he loves so much.  He wrote here about his efforts to come up with different ways to establish that bond with Pudding.  Now with Cubby, the two of them share a love of sport, so they enjoy watching games together, and I make sure that he goes to his football practice with Daddy.  But still, I was the one he cried for in the night, I was the one who could kiss it better, I was the one he wanted.

I wonder if this is a developmental phase.  I was also very attached to my mother until around this age, when I did an about-face and became a Daddy’s girl, wanting nothing to do with my poor Mum until my late teens when I discovered shopping.  Maybe, given time, this will happen with Pudding too.  Until then, I’m going to enjoy the fact that she’s my girl.  Now we have one of each, that has to be easier.  Both Spectrummy Daddy and I both know that it could be worse, she may have not bonded with either one of us.  Once again, thanking the autism gods for all that we have.

Still, this morning Cubby would only go to his daddy, and when he put him down again, Cubby immediately started crying for more hugs.  I had a small taste of that helpless feeling that my husband has known for so long.  Spectrummy Daddy asked him what he wanted, even though we both knew the answer.  After waiting so long, it was just good to know he was wanted.

 

This post is part of my A-Z series.  You can find the rest by clicking here.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

October 17, 2011 at 10:51 am