Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

Posts Tagged ‘Fine motor skill

Wordless Wednesday 13 Feb 13

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My Sweet Valentine

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

February 13, 2013 at 7:48 am

Yes Day

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One of Pudding’s favourite story books right now is called “Yes Day.”  The protagonist enjoys one day a year when his parents grant his every request.  No wonder she likes it.  I get it.  I say no a lot.  Too much.  Don’t.  No.  Can’t.  Hardly inspiring and empowering.  Hardly the kind of mother I want to be.

So many things I make the kid do for her own good.  She has to go to school when she’d rather be with me.  She can’t eat her favourite foods because of her allergies.  She can’t wear light summer dresses because it is too cold.  She has to go to her therapies and appointments, week in, week out.  Reasonable nos.

But there are so many nos that aren’t for her, they’re for me.  I don’t have time.  It makes a mess.  We have to be somewhere.  This week has been tough for Pudding.  With Cubby sick and taking all my attention, she has had to find her own entertainment.  When she does, I get mad at the mess she makes.  She needed a Yes Day.

I couldn’t grant every request, but I could make some things happen.  She could have whatever she wanted for breakfast, so I fulfilled all three requests.  She dressed as she pleased, and was allowed subsequent costume changes.  I let her drink juice instead of water.  She could play Sesame Street games on the computer.  She could watch an Ernie DVD.  She wanted a morning bath, and I let her stay in until she wanted out,  45 minutes later.  Then she wanted to do water more water play inside, so we did.

Cubby, now fully recovered took advantage of Mummy’s positive mood, and ripped some books.  I really didn’t feel like saying no to him, but we don’t hurt books or people in this house.  You want to rip?  I’ll give you rip.  I found some construction paper, and we sat on the floor together and ripped.  It was so deliciously naughty that the kids lapped it up, I didn’t mention that it is a good activity for their fine motor skills.  Originally my intention was to make a picture with the torn pieces, but I’ll save that for another day.

We just had fun throwing it in the air like confetti, then pulling it out of each others’ hair.  We made a game of cleaning it up (who can find me a green one?  Three blue ones?) in a ziploc bag.  Then I hid small objects in there and the kids had to find them with their fingers.  Tactile seeking Pudding loved this, though she wasn’t able to discriminate what each object is.  Cubby liked it less, but he got a small exposure to a sensory experience he doesn’t normally like.

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When I put her to bed, can you guess which book she gravitated towards?  I asked her if she’d had a good day.  She answered with the word of the day: yes.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

March 18, 2011 at 6:40 am

My Beady Eyes

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Things have been going well with Pudding.   She has come so far.  I was in a bubble of contentment about her progress.  The OT handed me her evaluation to review during the session, and I felt it go pop.

She is at the very bottom percentile for fine motor skills.  In one month’s time she will be 4 years old, and she has the grasping skills of a 13 month old baby.  Ouch.  It hurt.  It really hurt.  I’d been rejoicing about her developing fine motor skills.  I was comparing her to how she was a year ago, and with all the concentration and effort she’d put in she had made progress.  Huge progress, worth celebrating.  I hadn’t thought about how she’d compare with other kids.  I’d forgotten all about how typically developing kids just keep on typically developing.  It’s what they do.  And while they keep on typically developing, the gulf between those kids and Pudding gets bigger and bigger.  That little voice that I try not to pay attention was whispering, it doesn’t matter how hard she tries, she’ll never catch up.

I had my own private pity party right there in the occupational therapist’s office.  Cubby attended, but he didn’t really get involved.  There was a juice box and snacks, and that was all he was interested in.  I gave myself a few minutes, ate a chocolate bar, and then let it go.  Really, I let it go.  I can hardly believe it myself.  This isn’t last year, I can take a disappointment without hope dissolving away.  This is going to keep happening.  Every once in a while, I’m going to be reminded that the world doesn’t see Pudding through my eyes.  That when you compare her with others, she doesn’t do so well.  It is okay, really.  Because I look at her through my eyes, and I see a girl who works so hard, and masters tasks in spite of the challenges I can’t even begin to comprehend.  She beats the odds stacked against her.  I see qualities that can’t be measured on a scale.  Qualities that are rare and exquisite.  That is what I love about my girl, she is unique.  It isn’t fair on the other kids for me to compare her to them.

I thought back to that day when she threaded the beads, and I ruined them, and she threaded them again without losing her composure.  I have to keep my composure.  I need to just keep threading the beads because it needs to be done.  Just keep stringing, just keep stringing.  I can be distracted by how quickly other people make their jewelry, or I can just enjoy the beauty of my own.  I’m going to keep threading each bead with patience and love.  There is a serenity there.  Instead of looking around, I’m going to carry on concentrating on my unique treasure.

I’m just sorry that not everyone gets to see it through my eyes.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

November 3, 2010 at 8:41 pm