Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

Posts Tagged ‘hitting

The Puppy Stage

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Cubby, my two and a half bundle of energy is in what I call the puppy stage.  I know this because he just bit me, and the last thing to bite me was a puppy.  The time before that, it was Pudding, when she was going through her puppy phase.  If you picture a puppy, wagging its tail in the air and nipping at your toes, you have my boy right now.  He is testing the boundaries, and looking for a reaction.  When he gets one, he finds it funny….at least until he goes on time out.

Last week his teacher talked to me about this behaviour at school.  He has been hitting and crashing his bike into other children, and then laughing at their reactions.  Oh dear.  As a spectrummy mummy, I hear hitting and crashing, and I think sensory.  He is looking for additional proprioceptive input, albeit in a very inappropriate way.  But when I think of him laughing at other children in tears as a result of his actions, I worry.

Cubby is my verbose child.  He understands emotions, and has demonstrated empathy.  He is the first one to tell me if somebody has wronged him, in what way, and how that makes them naughty.  Unlike children with a language delay who lash out in frustration, he can use his words to express himself.  So why has he started to do this?

Is is Sensory or Behaviour?

If you haven’t read it yet, I recommend you take a look at Hartley Steiner’s post  on this very topic.  Cubby’s advantage in life- his verbal skills- might actually work against him in this instance.  I know I’m probably guilty of expecting too much from him.  The ability to communicate well doesn’t preclude him from feeling overwhelmed in a new social situation.  The demands of preschool with intense social interactions, and new sensory experiences might certainly be more than he can handle.  I made my long overdue contact with an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory integration, and mow we’re waiting for an appointment.

Like a puppy, my boy is exploring his new environment with all of his senses.  Like a puppy, he is testing the boundaries.  The problem though, is that until recently, Cubby spent most of his time playing with the only other member of his litter: Pudding.  Unlike most puppies (or children), Pudding doesn’t always respond in an expected way.  Sometimes he would hit her and she wouldn’t notice.  Frequently she would laugh.  Sometimes, but quite rarely, she would hit him back.  The same action on his part gets a variety of reactions.  Often the only way to get Pudding to react to him was to get physical.

When Pudding went through this stage, I was the other member of the litter, and every time she bit or hit me, I reacted consistently.  She learned very quickly that she shouldn’t hit or bite.  Cubby’s learned behaviour is off, as a result of being a younger sibling to a child on the spectrum.  He is taking what he learned through interacting with his sister and applying that to others.  Something tells me that this puppy stage is going to be harder this time around.

Whether motivated by his sensory processing difficulties, or an atypically learned behaviour, the challenge now is to guide Cubby to more appropriate interactions with the people around him.  The good news is the both puppies and little boys can be encouraged to adapt and respond to sensory stimuli in a socially appropriate way.  Though I think our four-legged friends tend to be much more obedient.  Either way, perhaps I should buy a whistle.

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Written by Spectrummy Mummy

November 10, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Posted in Sibling

Tagged with , , , , , ,