Spectrummy Mummy

Asperger's, Allergies, and Adventures Abroad

Posts Tagged ‘hug

Hug

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Cubby does not like to be touched.

That isn’t really true, because he is a cuddly little guy with me, and with daddy too. He needs physical contact to get to sleep, but wants lots of hugs and cuddles throughout the day too.
Cubby does not like to be touched unless it is on his terms.

Much more accurate.

Pudding likes to touch.  She is affectionate, perhaps over-eager in her affections, and is definitely a hugger.  We’ve already begun the process of explaining who you can and can’t hug, but it isn’t that easy.  Pudding wants to hug her brother, and because he reacts so badly to those hugs, we’ve had to ask her stop.  After some time, she has accepted that Cubby does not want to be hugged.  Instead she kisses him on his head where he feels less sensitive.  Success.

Occasionally I’m a little sad at the sight of Pudding stretching out her arms to embrace him, then remembering and dropping them.  Sometimes she’ll try to join in on a hug and gets upset when I turn her away.  I hate this, but we all have to learn to respect Cubby’s sensitivity.  The lesson is just harder for her.

Yesterday, when we had our second round of this session of the sibling study, I mentioned to the examiner that Cubby does not like to be touched.  All of the session is filmed, and many segments require him to be seated at the table.  Every time she strapped him in that chair, he flinched at the touch.  Ultimately she suggested we terminate the session, and return another time, but I declined that option.  For one thing, I know he’ll have the same reaction next time.  For another, a return trip of almost 4 hours plus testing time is just too much on top of the various therapies and other commitments we have.  We pushed through, culminating with the blood draw for the neurobiological portion of the testing.  This went really badly, the phlebotomist missed the vein in the first attempt, he resented being held down, and he couldn’t stand the feel of the dressings on his little arms.  He was distraught, and carried on screaming until he fell asleep in the car, exhausted.

We arrived home just before Pudding returned from school.  I collected her from the bus, and she was excited to see daddy already in the house.  Daddy asked her for a hug, and she bounded over to him.  Cubby watched the whole thing, then looked at his sister and said, “hug.”

Of course, we had to coax her into doing something she has learned not to do, but the two of them hugged.  They both enjoyed it.  I’m hoping this is the first of many.

Written by Spectrummy Mummy

November 12, 2010 at 12:30 am